Death and Injuries

[uaa_agents]

Injuries, Death and Dying

> Injuries

Put mildly, the UAA gives little to no fucks about your injuries. Small scrapes, bruises and the like will have to be healed normally, no matter the situation. Broken bones and other major injuries sustained in ranked battles will be taken care of by the UAA's people. Their super fast healing won't always work out for you. It might hurt a lot. It will also cost a good amount of your earnings from the fight.

The only exception to the major injuries rule is this: body parts completely removed from the body cannot be reattached while the body is living. So if you lose an arm and survive? Don't expect it to be reattached. You can have a robot limb attached instead, but affording that will be literally financially impossible for most assassins. Most will have to make do with the wound simply being cauterized so that they do not bleed to death.

Until the next time an assassin dies, they will need to survive without that arm/leg/torso. Once the character has died, they will wake up with the appendage reattached. Try not to think too hard about the fact the UAA has kept your severed limbs.

> Death and Dying

For those unfortunate enough to experience defeat in Santa Destroy, 99/100 times, it will end in death. (The UAA is still sorting its rules on "defeat" after the unprecedented survival of an assassin in the last round, followed by the forfeit of an assassin who won anyway because his survived after his opponent. However, so long as the UAA defines "victory" as "not being dead at the end," they feel as if they don't need to elaborate on the 1/100 times). Well, it's harmless enough if you come back fine and dandy in the morning, right?

Wrong.

Fact of the matter is, you die. It looks like death, and it feels like death.

But, never fear! If you die in a ranking battle, you'll wake up fine and dandy either in your own bed, or, if you are homeless, in a room at the Motel No More Heroes (disclaimer: The UAA does not necessarily know where you sleep. You may end up in someone else's bed entirely). You'll be fighting fit, and upon any examination, it'll be as if you never died (disclaimer: psychological evaluations are not covered by the UAA)! The only scars you'll have will be psychological, we promise.

HOWEVER for the ranked assassin who gets a little overzealous about fighting and ends up dead on the streets, things aren't quite as nice. The UAA pays you to fight for spectacle, remember? So unofficial street fights won't be as pretty in the end. If you die without registering your fight, the UAA will put you back together, but you'll be missing something: a memory. Sure, it's cliche, but you're in a game based on No More Heroes, what did you expect? First timers lose something simple, like their last birthday, or their home address. Second timers will lose something a little bigger, like what their parents' faces look like, or how they met their best friend. So on and so forth until you have a total amnesiac. Try not to fight.

HOWEVER (again) for those killed outside of ranked fights in accidents (getting mowed down by a car, or getting killed in the destruction of someone else's fight, etc), characters will only lose simple things, like the existence of Velcro shoes, the order of the alphabet, or that breathing is an involuntary bodily function. These are all things that either can be relearned quickly, or were of no consequence in the first place.

No, really, try not to die.

For characters who have died outside of a ranked battle, please fill out the following:
<b>Name:</b> Character name <b>Cause of death:</b> A fight, or an accident? If the latter, please give details. <b>Notes:</b> Suggestions of what memory the character has lost, or any other notes may go here.